Deleting My Black Prejudices #2: No More Fearing African Religions

In the past, (and even now to a certain extent) I have feared what type of judgements I would get for speaking out loud about African religions, like “Voodoo”. This religion has been so twisted, mocked, ridiculed, lambasted and derided, that we often fear being made a mockery of when we still are curious about it. Or should I say me?
I was and am curious in spite of all the negativity, and have decided to overcome my fear and start studying this aspect of my African culture. It’s a shame that I have to fight shame just to learn, but I’m ready to do so.

WHAT? I’m Not FEMININE Enough? o_O Pt. 1

Here, I’m talking about those instances when we determine that we are not “feminine” enough. I know that society tends to put this thing on black women about our so called lack of femininity, but there are those true situations – at different times, and different levels for different women – when we just may have bought in to this thing, and are unaware that we are playing it out in our lives for whatever reason.

My get down is to be real about those situations when the truth is just the truth. Do we want to be self aware? Then we have to take a long hard look inward into ourselves and then make some assessments of what we see. From that place we can determine if we will continue the way we are going and be satisfied with that, or switch up and do something new and different.

BTW, I tend to fall into the speech patterns of my youth and use black colloquialisms. These words tend to clash with politically correct terminology. I mean no disrespect, ever.

I Told Her Off and Set Her Straight

Greetings my people!

Have you ever watched that sister (or brother) who gets off on telling someone off?  They obviously believe that setting someone straight is empowering to them, but is it really?

I’m Doing The Right Thing, So Why Am I Miserable?

Greetings everybody!  I’m workin my way back to you!

It ain’t easy but I want to do it.  I’m going to start my blog back in a better way.  I’ll be uploading my videos as well as writing articles again.  I’ve been reading some great books on a variety of subjects and it’s really time to just get back in the swing of things!  Interestingly, I feel excited about the possibility of subjects to talk about!

I’ve been experiencing ups and downs; changes and turnarounds but that ain’t got to stop me anymore.    I’m glad to be back!    xoxoXOxoxoXO    :D

Enemies/Frenemies/Friends

 

I haven’t been writing much.  There was a space that I needed to go through, and writing was not a part of it.  That’s why you haven’t seen much being posted here at my blog.  But I definitely was still talking, my people.  A lot of my talking was to myself.  I have been carrying on many conversations in my own mind.  I am busy “changing my story that I tell myself”.  And I’m changing it to fit me in a beneficial way.  I’m forgiving myself for my own “transgressions”, and forgiving others who “trespassed against me”.  What I’m learning day by day is that I lose nothing at all in forgiving.

That power of unforgiveness that I thought I had over someone who did me wrong – it really was not power but weakness.  By holding this negative energy that I called anger and that was merely unforgiveness, I held on to the thing that was diminishing my own life.  And all the while, I thought I was empowered, protected, safe – exalted!  No I was not.

So I have released and am releasing this energy vampire, and allowing forgiveness to enter my heart.  That means I can now talk to some of those who had been on my Unforgiven List.   We are conversing, and learning where we made our mistakes.  There is such freedom in looking your mistakes straight in the eye, and passing no judgement on them. I no longer have to feel less than because of them.  Period.  Quite the contrary, I can feel exalted because of them, because they taught me very important lessons about me.   I no longer have to hate anyone just because they harmed me in the past, and I no longer have to feel guilty because I harmed someone in the past.  I am free from that, because I decided that I am.  And if I decided, then no one can say anything to the contrary.  It’s my choice; freedom is my inalienable right.

So I tell myself a new story and I plant it deep in my heart, so that the new story takes root and chokes out the old, negative story.  As I plant this new story and tend to it, I learn what true power is.

And ironically I couldn’t be at this point without the person who “wrong” me all those years ago, and up to the present time.  My enemy is now my frenemy, and my frenemy is my friend.  If I choose for it to be so.  I can learn so much about myself based on the actions of a frenemy towards me.  A frenemy helps me sharpen my wits, my discernment, my stamina, my strength, and so many other positive traits!  So my frenemy is my friend.  How ironic, and beautiful too!

Of course, if I choose instead, to stew over what my frenemy has done to me, I miss the lessons.  But at the point in time when I decide of my own volition to stop stewing and start learning, the lessons come.  It’s better to make this decision sooner than later, in my opinion.

So all in all, frenemies are a blessing to me, and forgiveness is a strength to me.  It is our choice to forgive – no one holds a gun to your head to force you.  If you forgive, you enlarge the space from which you operate.  You open yourself to more – more love, more joy, more peace, more grace.   If you hold to unforgiveness, it hoards the space from which you can operate.  Like weeds, it will choke more love, more joy, more peace, and more grace right out of your life with no apology.

God leaves the choice to you.