Have You Ever Fallen For the Okey Doke Concerning Black Male Celebrities?


How often have you read that those damned black celebrities hate they black women?  Those damned Ocho Cincos and Tiki Barbers and what not?  Everytime you read about their antics, it makes you think that ALL black celebrities hate they black womenz, don’t it!  (Except for Denzel, Will and Sam)

And you went on the blogs and boards and black websites speaking forth your anger and confusion at those brothers who seem to hate us sisters!   You thought, “As soon as they get a piece of some money, there they go over the fence!”  What you didn’t realize and wasn’t focused on is the manipulative power of the media, and their razor sharp focus on you, and how you see yourself black woman!

You were on discussion boards about how we black sisters gonna DEAL with this madness!  You watched CNN’s report on the sadness that is the educated black woman’s manless plight.    You decided to give up on the black man.  You said, “If he don’t want me, I don’t want him either!”   You equated a small minority of black celebrities with all Black Male Celebrities and All Black Men, period!   You started hating on the Kim Kardashians and Ambar Roses of the world, didn’t you girl?  Admit it girl.  You know you did! 

(Personally, I didn’t hate on ’em, but just commented that Kim was fake.   😉  )

This morning I was on Pebble’s Blog–Locked Up and Finally Free, and I saw this video that slapped me back to my senses concerning black celebrities and their choices for wives!  Ladies, we’ve been had!  Bamboozled! Hoodwinked!   How long will this continue to happen to us?  I’m just saying.

Maybe we have to be much more careful how we receive ANYTHING that the media puts forth about black people in general, black men in particular and black women especially!!   In other words, DONT BELIEVE THE HYPE!

I’m talking to me too!



PS:  I just recently found this video of a brother comparing a relationship with a black woman to one with a white woman.  Hmmmmmmmmmmm……………………….


21 Comments Add yours

  1. Excluding an entire race one of whom you belong to is foolish and self hating.

    1. Anna Renee says:

      It’s tired, nephew!

  2. THANK YOU!!! SO MUCH FOR THIS!! Some would say we need our own news station so we can cover our stories.

    1. Anna Renee says:

      Hi there HBCU! We DO need our own media, but it ought to report balanced stories about us! And right now we have this powerful access with the blogosphere, and some of us don’t know the value of it! We ought to spend our time focused on US and those who are our supporters, not on those who are our enemies!! Too many of us use this power of the internet to parrot the foolishness of the Glen Becks and Rush Limbaughs of America!! We’re strenghthening them, and they become powerful enough to rewrite OUR history!! (Can you tell I have problems with this?)

      1. Hey Nubian Queen Anna Renee! You are exactly correct if we focus on our supporters and ignore our detractors …. they will soon vanish from our vision and we will continue forward enhancing our allies. Even sad stories can be presented in an empowering way…we have to start making everything empowering or positive someway or another. Case and point, what if instead of saying “Reggie a black male of 45 killed 5 people.” we said “Proud Uncle to Latifa and Shawn, Reginald a strong nubian king – due to lack of self knowledge took the life of 5 people he mistakenly believed were his enemy. For those viewers out there please take note and realize how important it is to know thy self. Reginald was a good man but did not know about the rules of MAAT. Here they are…..Practice them and live justly. Good Night and Thank you for watching.” Big difference right?

        1. Anna Renee says:

          Hey there HBCU! You got it!! BINGO! It’s all in the presentation, and we are forever being misrepresented on TV. Our humanity is very, very, seldom displayed in these stories. For example whenever a young white man goes crazy and start shooting people, they want to understand what was going on in his head to make him do something that’s so unexpected of white men.
          But if a black youngster is killing someone in the hood, they seldom do a story about what might have been going on in HIS head to make him do such a terrible thing. See, it’s because they believe that killing is a normal black male trait. So they report it as another statistic–which supposedly proves that black males are naturally prone to violence.
          That’s where WE come in–we ought to find out the whys and tell the story from a human perspective. Thank God we have access to all these blogs and websites. For how long, we don’t know.

          1. All we can do is all that we can right now!

  3. Reggie says:

    Personally I couldn’t imagine not being married to a woman of color.

    1. Anna Renee says:

      Thank you for that, brother Reggie!

  4. udee says:

    When it comes to issues like this, I really wonder why BLACK WOMEN are not talking about about what’s going on, but leaving things to CNN, a network not invested in our interests as Black women.

    Also you raise a very important point, that Black celebrities are a SMALL percentage of the overall population. Just cos we see them on TV all the time, does in no way mean they represent a majority. So this is, in fact, NOT a phenomenon. It is merely hype to make us believe there is a problem, whereas there, in fact, is not.

    Again, we cant allow the media influence our children into hating themselves just cos their athlete crush happens to prefer Asian woman over women who share the same hue as they mama.


    1. Anna Renee says:

      Hi Udee! Yes! Please! Please, please, please, please! Please!!! It’s all so tiring, and so tired! And black men who love black women are being emotionally hurt by all of this hatred!

  5. Faith says:

    Interesting post. Your title had me thinking you were going to make an argument that these black males were choosing more black women as mates. Well per the 2000 Census results out of those BM tht responded: 21% are married to black women, 14% are married to non-black women and 65% are not married at all. So while someone may be able to say technically more BM are with BW the majority aren;t married at all – hence all of the man-sharing that’s going on for those BW that focus on trying to be exclusively with BM.

    This entire focus is on black males when black women need to be screening and weeding out males based on their character not melanin content. Who cares what black males are doing? Black women have the entire world at their disposal and can find plenty of available, viable men who’d love them and put them first.

    The bottom line message here is: stop paying more attention to these random males and focus on LIVING YOUR BEST LIFE. Get out there and date and amrry interracially as well. Be happy! Find your bliss. These BM are not checking for BW, don’t care about BW or the bulk of the children they create (check the CDC 70%++++ out of wedlock birth rate for black women) and they are so hell bent on giving all of their resources back to the white men they claim are sooo racist by sexing and marrying their daughters it’s ridiculous!

    Black women go on and live your best life and stop caring about what these black males are doing. They’re looking out for their interests first and following their bliss. So should you!!!

    1. Anna Renee says:

      Welcome Faith! A diametrically opposed opinion to mine! My title didn’t have you thinking that, girl. You already believe what you do, and you’re free to do so.
      My post is about black male celebrities that have and do marry black women! But to my sisters, you don’t need an excuse of hate to marry any man you want! I believe that then you’d be an impediment to your interracial relationship! Im down for whatever choice you want to make–check my link in my sidebar to Andreas’ blog–Beautiful Black Women, Thoughts of a White Bwoy. This white brother is totally down for black women!! And I’m sure there are men of every race that’s down for the sisters too, despite the okey doke!

      But here at this site, I’m a sister who is totally down for black men!! If some black men don’t like their black women, then I want to understand why. And vice versa. That’s what this site is about–dealing with these psychological issues. From my perspective and my understanding.
      I DO care about black men! My husband is black!
      The fact of the matter, if you’re honest, is that you care too! We want black men to love us! It’s normal–even women who are interracially married don’t want to be unloved by black men, because there are some in her family.
      So we have to be able to discern what our real problems are–what is it that is tearing black men and women apart. My blog here is exploring the reasons that I believe that black male/female relationships are being torn apart.
      I’m sure you’ve done more census research and can compare maybe the 1960 census with the 2000 census and extrapolate from the data that something has happened in this country. And not just for black men and women, but for all races in America! Marriage as an institution is being eroded as we speak!
      Many of us don’t even understand that warfare had been waged against black male/female relationships! You have to dig deeper to find the truth and work from that place. Instead we are reactionary and just start hating each other based on half truths and lies!
      I would venture to say that black women are the most blissful when they are secure with a man they love and who loves them back–and if he’s black that’s the icing on the cake, the olive in the martini, the cheese on the nachos, the pepper in the soup!!!
      Hey, I love my black man, but if I didn’t have him, and no brothers were on the horizon, I’d probably check that latino, asian, or white man. I think. Once you go black, you just CAN’T go back!!
      Im just sayin!!! LOL

      1. La Reyna says:

        Anna Renee,

        Don’t you know that American society has always wage wars against the Black family since the 1600s?
        Let’s not say it’s the 60s when they started to war against us and our families. It began in slavery when marriage was outlawed, when women and girls were raped by white men and there were no recourse for the horrible crime, when black men cannot be men, when owners tear whole families apart, husband from wife, parents from children. Then after the Civil War, American society enacted laws to keep Black families on subsistance levels and to limit opportunities in a society that claimed to be the land of opportunity. Lynchings, burnings of whole Black communities, and prisons has kept Black families from progressing.

        So, the war against Black families and relationships are not new at all.

        La Reyna

        1. Anna Renee says:

          Yes, Queen! This thing against us started in the demented minds of the original slavers before they even reached the western shores of Africa! When they snatched some of us and the others were left behind to deal with the disappearance of their loved ones!
          When they studded out our men as horses and took the children away from their mothers and enslaved them. When enslaved black men and women tried to come together in love, knowing they could be torn apart at massa’s whim.
          Yes when white men raped their enslaved young black girls, then took away her child… We know that this thing against our families started loooong before the 1960’s.
          Whats worse is that too many of us don’t even KNOW what has happened to us throughout our history and believe the lies deep in their spirits that black people are just INFERIOR. They don’t speak it out loud with words, but they act it out loud with their self hating actions towards others and self.

          But…., sister there’s always a but with black people, WE STILL RISE!!! That’s the whole point of my blog, to show that we STILL RISE! I know this, before I find interesting stories about it. The fact that I know it, is what drives me to find the stories of our triumphs all over the world. Anybody else may have gone extinct as a race with the assault that the black race has endured over the centuries.
          BUT STILL WE RISE!!!

          1. La Reyna says:

            Anna Renee,

            Thanks for those kind words. I truly appreciated that. I’d like to send you several links concerning interracialism’s impact on the Black family:

            Also, please read the blog article at:


            La Reyna

            1. Anna Renee says:

              OOOOOOO WEEEEEE!! I got to 4:12 in the first video and I KNOW I got to sit down and make some time!! Take me to school!!! I’m excited and looking forward to watching all these videos Mi Hermana!! If the first one is any indication, they all are very hard hitting! But don’t we need hard hitting to hit us back to the reality of our true natures?

              I did a post of a video done by a brother named Mr. Camara a while back that’s almost as hard hitting, and I named the post “CNN’s Love Affair With Black Pathos”. It does a fake “What if” spin on white pathos, instead showing how it would look if CNN constantly displayed it, the way they do so called Black Pathos. It’s very interesting to say the least.

              Also Sister, check out my post on warfare! It certainly is war hermanita! You got me all excited, Sis!! Coming back to your blog and blog rolling ya!! Pronto!

              Thanks You Queen!!!
              Obrigado y
              Gracias, La Reyna!!

  6. I totally agree with you about being HIGHLY suspicious concerning anything that “mainstream” media puts out about Afrikan people in America (or abroad for that matter). I wrote a similar piece to this one a couple of years ago when NBC did their series on Black women in America. (http://faithinactiononline.com/2007/12/02/nbc-promotes-division-and-denigration-of-black-love/)

    HBCU interviews is right. Our own media is a necessity and thankfully we do have blogs like yours, podcasting abilities, underground alternative newspapers, & other outlets to challenge the vicious propaganda spewed out about Afrikan people 24/7 via american media. We just need to build on that and institutionalize this effort now creating the broadcasting machine for our people that BET & TV One should have been!

    Much Respect!

    1. Much respect for that brother! Some would ask the question if we as Afrikans were treated so poorly in the past why do you expect anything from the same people that oppressed us? Others state that the solution is that We should just focus on us and our issues as Afrikans and ignore all others.

  7. urbanmedialounge says:

    Great post. I’m glad I stumbled upon your blog. Luckily bloggers like yourself and youtube vlogers post things like this to remind us of the reality of the situation.

    I really don’t blame the mainstream media for sensationalizing the “black male celebrity with a non-black female” relationship. For one, it gets a rise out of many black women which equals publicity and buzz. I think it also has sub-conscience ramifications as well, or maybe I’m over-analyzing the situation.

    What I don’t understand is why we don’t see the same sensationalization when it specifically comes to “white men with black women” relationships. Like Alfree Woodard and her husband or Robert DeNiro and his wife or Wolfgang Puck and his wife or whatever other couples. Is it meant to be a secret?

    As for the other regular ol’ Joe Schmoe black men that exclusively date non-black women, why should I care? Thats not my business. Everyone is entitled to have a “type” of person that they are are attracted to, and self hating idiots just aren’t my type.

    1. Anna Renee says:

      Welcome Urbanmedialounge!
      “why we don’t see the same sensationalization when it specifically comes to “white men with black women” relationships.”

      Good point! We never do. That’s something to ponder.

      “Everyone is entitled to have a “type” of person that they are are attracted to, and self hating idiots just aren’t my type.”
      I love this!!! On point! I love it when a person expresses him or herself so clearly, as you certainly do!

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