There are many many people talking about black women these days, am I right about it? How we think, what are dreams should be, what we need, what we don’t need, whether black men love us, or not; whether white men love us, or not; whether Asian men love us, or not; whether latino men love us, or not!! Dayum! Can a sista girl catch a damn break from alla this madness? Then there’s all the talk about how we look. What lengths we go to just to fit in to the “dominant cultural image”. I hardly even want to go THERE.
Instead, I want to go HERE:
Rachelle Ferrell had a nice little song out back in the day, called Individuality, Can I Be Me? The powerful lyrics to that song went like this:
All my life I’ve tried to please
Disregarding my own needs
Now it’s time for me to be free!And if you don’t like it
You can do what you wanna do
And if you don’t invite it
It ain’t got to have nothing to do with youLemme be what I want to
Can I be me?
I need to be what I want to be
I’m an individual, I’m into individuality
I’m an individual, I’m into individuality
Can’t nobody be me
Can’t nobody be you
God made everybody just the way that
He wanted to!I’m not trying to separate
I just want to celebrate
The ending of the sublimation, of my soul!And if you don’t like it
You can do what you wanna do
And if you don’t invite it
It ain’t got to have nothing to do with youLemme be what I want to
Can I be me?
I need to be what I want to be
I’m an individual, I’m into individuality
I’m an individual, I’m into individuality
Can’t nobody be me
Can’t nobody be you
God made everybody just the way that
She wanted to!Be who you are,
Do what you do,
Be grateful that you arePlus her song “Sista”
Hawt dayum! Those lyrics pierce me through my own soul. I do my best to live these lyrics everyday of my life. And you should too, my sisters!
So how do you do that, my beautiful nubian queen? When you are afraid that you’re ugly. When you are afraid that you’re “big bone’ded”.
When you’re afraid that your black man don’t want you no mo?
By spreading the beauty of your beautiful black beauty, my beautiful black beauties!
I was just informed that the above girl, though she’s impersonating a black woman, isn’t one really. See sisters, how they want to look like you? She’s got the headwraps and the deep tan bronzer, and even I was fooled. But commenter Misty Jean uncovered the truth. Why oh why do they want to be like us, yet want to denigrate us at the same time? More reason to be fully accepting of who you are my black beautiful sisters! Side-eye to the above young girl. The “sister’s” name is Kumi Koda and she’s a Japanese pop singer. From what I can gather, she’s the Japanese Beyonce! She’s beautiful, but… O__o
It’s high time that we stop flowing down stream with all the negative reports of the impending demise of the black woman’s beauty. It’s time to stand up straight my black beautiful sisters, and show the world what true beauty is all about. Remind somebody what it is that makes you your unique and gorgeous self! I know, I know, you’re not used to being beautiful anymore. All of this talk has broken your spirit and you have deprived the world of the light of your shining sun and the glow of your sensual moon. No wonder black men are upset at you!!
Stop acting like victims! Is a rose still sweet smelling if I decide one day to go on and on about the demise of the sweet smell of the rose? In other words, the rose still smells sweet, and I would be the stinker if I’m trying to convince the world that the rose has lost its fragrance.
Now, I’m not trying to toss you sisters out there without a bit of support. That’s why I’m starting with Rachelle Ferrell’s song, Individuality. We have to remember to be ourselves. Black women are different from other races of women, with a few special God given beauty attributes. We haven’t been thanking God for those attributes, but instead cursing Him! That’s just wrong, my sisters!
So you may have a level of work to do with uplifting yourselves black woman. Rest assured that the work is all yours and that NO ONE is going to help you to do it, least of all those who are bashing you right now. Don’t waste your time getting angry at the bashers. They jes jealous!!!
Get up and start looking for your black beauty! You’ll find it once you get in action to find it, and not a minute before!! And when you do find it, start sharing your beauty with the world, not being worried that it’s not like somebody else’s!! And while you’re at it, make sure not to step backward in time, nor appropriate the oppressor definitions of beauty and attach them to yourselves. Redefine, Black Woman!
I’m here for you sister girls!!
******************A Body Prayer********************************
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You Are Leaders! 
Amen! You’ve made all valid points. This issue has weighed heavily on my mind for quite a while. Something has to be done because you know the younger generation is more likely to buy into this nonsense. Excellent post!
Hey there Melzie CG! Thanks for coming over!
Yes, we have to be proactive, not reactive! We can’t expect the bashers to change their stripes, and put ourselves on pause until they do!
That’s just madness, and we got our lives to live and our beauty to spread and black mens’ hearts to recapture, we got to put in some WORK!!
A good question you asked,just why are we afraid?
I think we’re afraid because we listen to those who tell us so many lies, so that we will be afraid. It’s an avalanche of negative propaganda against the black woman’s beauty.
It’s a negative comparison–like comparing apples and oranges and saying that oranges are better in every way shape and form than apples.
Then we apples start putting orange peels all over ourselves.
The difficulties lies in learning how to NOT LISTEN to all the negative words, comparisons, images, and whatever other means. Learning to NOT SEE. Learning to choose what we see and ignore what doesn’t affirm us.
To me, there is nothing more beautiful than a woman of color. Nothing more appealing and no other woman would or could ever lay next to me at night.
There is nothing more beautiful than that smooth skin that comes in so many shades……and yet they’re all brown.
I love the black woman!!!
“It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be ugly.”
Hi Reggie! Thanks for coming over to my new house! The walls are white, instead of psychadelic!
Anyway, If it’s better to be beautiful, then we have to define what beauty is for us! Then believe it in the face of other beauty. A rose doesn’t stop thinking its beautiful just because a carnation comes along!
That picture of Serena..I read comments under it at some site, Wow, people need help! They were saying she looks like man, she’s ugly..All this madness. Of course I’m too much of a ‘prude’ to approve of nudity etc, but the girl looks like a girl and she’s got lovely skin. Why can’t we focus on the positives? And that song speaks to me considering last week’s post about my mother’s comments. It’s just a pity they come from her and not from a ‘friend’ I can easily ‘dump.’
Yes, Thandi, thanks for following me over to my new house!
People are confused, is my opinion. Serena is beautiful, even with her bulging muscles. Not all people are going to like her look, but I think Common does! 😉
It hard for us to focus on the positive because the negative is always promoted over the positive. That’s my whole issue concerning black women of all shapes and sizes. We are not inherently inferior to anyone, and no one is inherently inferior to us. Women for too long stand in envy of each other.
Alot of times, our parents are very entrenched in their ideas about our inferiority, which we are not inferior, but it time for us to fight against believing that we are.
It time for a change—- MAKE THAT CHANGE!!!
I believe authentic beauty must begin from the inner and radiate to the outer. As scripture says, women should adorn themselves with a meek and quiet spirit. This meek and quiet spirit represents the beginnings of true beauty and value. In addition to a meek and quiet spirit, a young lady`s behavior must align with that of a godly women, regardless of outer features. Without this truth, All other visual qualities or prerequisites are superficial and of no lasting value. I mean, If God loves this in a woman, it must be the epitome of true beauty. Our ideas and thinking must always be in line with his thinking for freedom in every area of our lives
Welcome Tarre! I totally agree with you! We black women have to be in love with God and His way of seeing us! After all, He created us, and has placed His Holy Spirit within us.
Hi, here via AfroSpear.
This post makes me smile – you’ve hit the nail on the head.
I was looking for a similarly positive song as a mantra of body confidence, and love and thought of a few of India’s uplifting tunes, but this one is perfect.
Should be an anthem!
Thanks for being here
Thanks for the love MsAfropolitan!!!
Yes, I’ll be here for a while, talking a mile a minute, trying my best to convince as many black women that they are free to hold their heads up, in spite of what negativity someone else may be saying.
I definitely have got to put some India.arie songs on this blog! Thanks for the reminder!
Ms Rachelle Ferrell is just the bomb! She is very powerfully herself and she shows us how to be ourselves and love ourselves!! All her songs are athems!!
Individuality is a great song, and her song Sista is even better! (it’s combined with Individuality in the video”)
Lyrics:
“You got that certain thang that can’t quite be described
Copied all over the world, it can’t be denied
And when you walk into a room the brothers be slippin’ all up out they swerve…
Incredible woman, you’re still my girl!”
That 9th image with the girl leaning back and a head wrap is not black, but Japanese. Her name is Kumi Koda and a Japanese singer.
OK, Thanks.
I found this page because my friend told me to look up images of albino Africans. I clicked on your picture and started reading the article. I am from Europe and as a European I envy women with such dark skin, almond eyes, and voluptuous body’s. I am a model and been turned down because my skin isn’t dark enough lots of times. I defiaty agree with you
Thanks Cali
Pleaseee!!! do it in spanish too, I can´t read all because I don´t understand everything, was asomee !
Mi hermana, Google Traducir will translate the entire page
The Japanese singer you posted a picture of may or may not be imitating a Japanese fashion fad called “mamba” or “ganguro.” It is when Japanese girls tan their and bleach their hair to give themselves a bizarre appearance to go against Japanese societal norms. Some of the “ganguro” or “mamba” are trying to achieve a California surfer girl type look, thus the bleached hair, but others are trying to imitate popular R&B singers. I wouldn’t say that they’re doing it out of racism, I’d say that they admire the look so much that they go to extremes to achieve it themselves. After all, why would they spend so many hours in tanning beds to darken their skin if it isn’t a look they actually desired?